A Verbatim Text Message Conversation Between Me and Mike Farrell That Occurred Today
FARRELL:
I swear the next time I’m watching porn and the scenario is a student banging his teacher and she says “you’re gonna get extra credit for this” I’m gonna lose it.
POLK:
Yeah, it’s like the writers don’t even respect us or something.
FARRELL:
And While we’re at it, take off your white tennis socks male porn star. I don’t need to see that.
POLK:
You’d rather see a dude’s bare feet? You’re walking a fine line my friend.
FARRELL:
I’d rather not see a dude all together. It should be robots.
POLK:
See, there has to be a dick on the scene for me to get into the right mindset. Otherwise, who am I in this scenario? Just some perv watching two chicks go at it.
POLK:
No face though. Because then I can’t pretend that guy is me. And that takes me out of the moment.
FARRELL:
Yeah. As soon as I see his face I start judging him. Like who the fuck is this guy? What kind of scumbag crap was he doing today? Why does he deserve this?
FARRELL:
Every guy in porn looks like some wigger kid that cooks at Applebees.
POLK:
You know what else takes me out of the scene? When it’s a chick with pigtails pretending to be 16 and then she strips and she’s all tatted up. It’s like, come on man.
(END TRANSMISSION)
